The Business of Birthdays
I could possibly be the world’s worst poker player. I have no poker face what-so-ever. I don’t know the rules and barely know what beats what.
The best hand I ever held probably was the “tell” that got me beat. The story goes a little something like this…
About four years ago I was sitting around a makeshift poker table at my friend Bob’s house. Bob, his brother Matt (a.k.a The House), and our buddy Greg (a.k.a Donger) were my opposition. We’d been playing on and off for a few years for a max buy in of about $20. Greg generally won a majority of the games. He served as our most knowledgeable poker master. He’d tell us how to play games outside of standard 5 and 7 card formats (of course that IS why he probably won most of the hands...and of course the money too.) House generally was the first man down and as his older brother would say “bleeding profusely.” Bob and I generally tangled for second man out, but normally I would grow weary after the beer ran dry.
Moving along I had garnered a great hand in basic 5 card draw. I managed to keep my face straight, which was the tell that I had a good hand. Greg and House quickly bowed out as they knew I was holding something. Now, Bob was usually all bullshit and my guess was he knew I had a good hand. In fact, I was holding a Full House, which by my own history is the best hand I’d ever held. Bob continued to raise the bet, and I continued to push in my own hard earned chips. Bob is legendary for over betting and on one occasion even went as far as writing a personal check to put into the middle of the table. I thought for sure that with my hand and his betting that it was a bluff. Finally when the pot had reached a favorable amount I pushed “all in.”
And the moment of truth became a flop that Bob will probably never re-live. While it is debatably the best hand I’ve ever held, it is unarguably the best hand of poker that Bob has and will ever play. To foil the poker face that I’d held for all of the 12 minute exchange Bob laid down the impossible, a Four of a Kind.
On that night, Bob was to finish a convincing second to Greg, but only long after I’d been sent home.
Like I said, “I could possibly be the world’s worst poker player.”
Now fast forward to the present.
Next week is Rhiana’s birthday. And if birthdays were considered poker games, I’d be holding a pretty good hand right now. Rhiana knows that I’ve got something special planned for the night of her birthday. She’s been getting clues left and right all week long. Many of them are being planted inconspicuously. All she really knows at this point is that we have to be in downtown Boston on the night of her birthday by 5:00. She seems pretty excited and we’ve had a few exchanges regarding the plans.
“Tell me!!! I want to know!”
“OK well we are going to…”
“Wait. Wait. Don’t tell me.”
“OK I wasn’t going to tell you anyway.”
“Fine then just tell me what it is.”
“Nope, too late now.”
I don’t usually fare well when it comes to hiding a surprise from Rhiana. She can usually see through me like Superman looking through Pam Anderson’s blouse (and you know he’s looking.) Not this time however.
This time Pam is wearing a lead undergarment. And once again I’m holding all the right cards…
The best hand I ever held probably was the “tell” that got me beat. The story goes a little something like this…
About four years ago I was sitting around a makeshift poker table at my friend Bob’s house. Bob, his brother Matt (a.k.a The House), and our buddy Greg (a.k.a Donger) were my opposition. We’d been playing on and off for a few years for a max buy in of about $20. Greg generally won a majority of the games. He served as our most knowledgeable poker master. He’d tell us how to play games outside of standard 5 and 7 card formats (of course that IS why he probably won most of the hands...and of course the money too.) House generally was the first man down and as his older brother would say “bleeding profusely.” Bob and I generally tangled for second man out, but normally I would grow weary after the beer ran dry.
Moving along I had garnered a great hand in basic 5 card draw. I managed to keep my face straight, which was the tell that I had a good hand. Greg and House quickly bowed out as they knew I was holding something. Now, Bob was usually all bullshit and my guess was he knew I had a good hand. In fact, I was holding a Full House, which by my own history is the best hand I’d ever held. Bob continued to raise the bet, and I continued to push in my own hard earned chips. Bob is legendary for over betting and on one occasion even went as far as writing a personal check to put into the middle of the table. I thought for sure that with my hand and his betting that it was a bluff. Finally when the pot had reached a favorable amount I pushed “all in.”
And the moment of truth became a flop that Bob will probably never re-live. While it is debatably the best hand I’ve ever held, it is unarguably the best hand of poker that Bob has and will ever play. To foil the poker face that I’d held for all of the 12 minute exchange Bob laid down the impossible, a Four of a Kind.
On that night, Bob was to finish a convincing second to Greg, but only long after I’d been sent home.
Like I said, “I could possibly be the world’s worst poker player.”
Now fast forward to the present.
Next week is Rhiana’s birthday. And if birthdays were considered poker games, I’d be holding a pretty good hand right now. Rhiana knows that I’ve got something special planned for the night of her birthday. She’s been getting clues left and right all week long. Many of them are being planted inconspicuously. All she really knows at this point is that we have to be in downtown Boston on the night of her birthday by 5:00. She seems pretty excited and we’ve had a few exchanges regarding the plans.
“Tell me!!! I want to know!”
“OK well we are going to…”
“Wait. Wait. Don’t tell me.”
“OK I wasn’t going to tell you anyway.”
“Fine then just tell me what it is.”
“Nope, too late now.”
I don’t usually fare well when it comes to hiding a surprise from Rhiana. She can usually see through me like Superman looking through Pam Anderson’s blouse (and you know he’s looking.) Not this time however.
This time Pam is wearing a lead undergarment. And once again I’m holding all the right cards…
posted by Jeremy @ 2:16 PM
1 Comments:
At 7:37 AM,
Ann Marie said…
Well I have a feeling that I could probably beat the pants off you and all your friends. :) I grew up playing poker.. as I got older in my early 20's when I sat down a lot of the guys bowed out. Yes I used to be that good. Been along time since I played but I think I could take you :)
As for the birthday thing.. I WANT TO KNOW.. then again I might tell her.. NO I WON'T.. REALLY i WANT TO KNOW.. no don't tell me..
wait wait.. REALLY I WANT TO KNOW
Post a Comment
<< Home