I Sold My Soul To George Steinbrenner

Rhiana is a New York Yankees fan. So she says.

She has a few Yankees caps, no t-shirts, and no jerseys hanging proudly in her closet. She has never been to Yankee Stadium in her 28 years as a "Yankees Fan."

I am a Red Sox fan. I have two Boston "B" hats currently in use and several more retired. I have a half dozen t-shirts I refuse to get rid of...one of which is actually staind with my own blood. I have a Schilling jersey which only goes to the dry cleaner when its time to be freshened up. In four years of living on the East Coast I've been to nine (two against the hated Yankees) Red Sox games. Would have been more except tickets are wicked expensive since the WS win in '04.

Rhiana's father is a Yankees fan and this is how Rhiana's allegiance has been designated. By default she follows her father's lead. He IS a Yankees fan. He goes to at least two games a year in New York. He has a picture of himself and Derek Jeter. And here's the kicker...if we go to his house and I'm wearing RedSox gear...he absolutely refuses to shake my hand.

I like to prod Rhiana about her Yankee allegiance. She has this habbit (like most Yankees fans do) of rubbing salt in the wounds of RedSox fans about the success of the Yankees throughout the history of baseball. I immediately return fire by quizzing her regarding her knowledge of Yankees baseball.

For instance...I ask questions like, "Who plays third base for the Yankees?" She laughs and says, "That's easy. Jason Giambi."

Just like the Family Feud the big red 'X' blares over the TV screen, she has failed to answer question 1 correctly.

X

So I try to make it easier on her. "Who plays shortstop for the New York Yankees?"
Confidently she answers, "A-rod."

X

"Oh so close!!!! That was the correct answer to question number one. The answer you were looking for here is Derek Jeter."

She is getting a bit annoyed by this line of question, but does it get any easier? She knows that both of those guys play for the Yankees, but she is so far detached from being a fan that she has no idea what position they play. Even the most distant fan should know these things.

And so I move on..."Who is Brian Cashman?"

A delayed reaction speaks all that needs to be spoken. I can litterally see her scratching her head. And with a dazed look on her face she says, "He plays third base for the RedSox?"

X

She has continually challenged me with the Yankees history but yet she knows so very little about them today.

So yesterday when we were watching Mike and Mike in the Morning (I was watching she was reading a magazine) there was talk about Barry Bonds leaving the Giants after this year and signing with another team, possibly in the American League, next season.
Immediately I started in on the Yankees. I told her that if the RedSox sign Bonds and he breaks the homerun record I will burn all of my RedSox merchandise and switch.

Yes that's right. I will jump to the Evil Empire. The New York Yankees. But only if Bonds signs with Boston and breaks Hank Aaron's prestigious record as a member of the RedSox.

Now, you might be saying to yourself that is the most gruesome sellout of all time. How could I do that? Betray Boston.

First off, it's a very long shot that Bond's would receive any type of offer from Theo Epstien, Larry Lucchino, and most certainly John Henry. They all have very respectable baseball status and would most doubtedly not risk blemishing it by signing someone as controversial as Bonds.

Second, the RedSox do not need Bonds or his homeruns. They have Big Pappi and he ain't going nowhere. Bonds would only fit in as a DH because his chemically enhanced body is finally giving way and he'd struggle to glove any position on defense...yes, even first base.

Finally, Bonds would never EVER sign with any team in the AL East, EXCEPT....the New York Yankees. It's obvious Bonds is after a final payday and George Steinbrenner is just the idiot to give it to him. It is becoming more clear that Gary Sheffield is on his way out of Yankee Stadium which provides Steinbrenner and Brian Cashman (no he doesn't play third base for the Sox, he's the GM of the Yankees) with reason to hire a big gun. And Steinbrenner loves to make statements about how much money the Yankees can throw around. What better way to do it than spend money (probably big money) on a guy who could break Aaron's record, perhaps the greatest record in all of sports, at Yankee Stadium?

So there it is. Me selling out to the Yankees. Why it is possible, it won't happen, and why my wife is the biggest fan of a team she doesn't even know.