Please Pardon My MisEducation

Saturday, June 24, 2006

Where Are We Going

*** Entry Preface ***

This entry will also be used for the final column/article I wrote for the San Diego Reader. The title "Where Are We Going" is play on a Dave Matthews song titled "Where Are You Going." During my two months of writing with the Reader my life has taken on many new meanings. I found writing coming from inside of me that could only be inspired by my friends, family, and most importantly my wife.

The assignment to write for the Reader was exciting at times as well as trying thru others. In late May Judith Moore, the editor at the Reader who asked me to write the column, passed away before she was able to read all of my submitted work. I never had the opportunity to completely thank her for the wonderful opportunity. Wherever you are Judith...Thank you.


Where Are We Going

It’s 5:39 a.m. on the day of the rehearsal dinner. I’m sitting here typing what will be my last blog before my wedding and subsequent honeymoon.

I’m tired. My feet are swollen and my knees are ready to crack with then next subtle bend. My hands and elbows burn with brittle suggestion that arthritis may soon be setting in. My neck and shoulders are not yet relieved of the fatigue from carrying my head through yesterday’s hours. My eyes are tired and bleary. My ears sensitive to even the slightest sounds.

The last week has consumed me with both it’s random tasks and specific purposes. Prepping the house for visitors, finalizing the gifts for family and friends, and making last minute substitutions. The details are tedious yet necessary. Twice we’ve had to find someone to watch the dogs on the day of the wedding, replace the stale and rotting mulch that accents the landscape of our house, and framing pictures for sisters and grandmothers. Picking up laundry, dry cleaning, and bridal jewelry. Finalizing vendor payments and plans. Meetings with wedding coordinators, hair dressers, and postal employees. Each task seemed to be followed with yet another. All important and one by one crossed off a list that leads to tomorrow evening.

Today is paramount. We’ve been at this wedding planning table on and off for eighteen months. Yet the next 36 hours will be the key to putting everything together. Drawing boards and game planes are props at this point. Time is short and polish has been issued for application to every detail that remains incomplete. I’ve got nearly every minute appropriated between now and 4:30 this evening. It is a day for finishing touches, hair cuts, and collecting tuxedos.

Tonight is practice. A puzzle of sorts. Family and friends have been conversing and debating for months on end about this wedding. For those family and friends their previously envisioned landscapes and ocean backdrops will be repainted into a wedding site that many of them have never seen before. They will all be told where and how to stand. They will be told when or when not to proceed with their piece of the wedding puzzle. The unfinished spaces in filling that puzzle will be placed carefully tonight so that a picture of tomorrow is complete.

Tomorrow is the day. It is a day that for me begins with a lull. The morning is slated to provide a rested and relaxed start. I won’t need to be anywhere or be doing anything until nearly noon. And from there I will be consumed into a whirlwind of activity that will culminate in a joyous celebration of matrimony. Mothers and fathers, aunts and uncles, sisters, and friends will witness a union of two people…two souls. Glasses will be raised and music, dancing, and blessings will follow. Pictures of smiles, hugs, kisses, and maybe a few happy tears. Memories will be created and forever written into our minds.

Sunday a new life begins. When I used to envision myself in the future I always saw myself alone. That vision has evolved. Now I stand alone and someone appears at my side and grasps my lonely hand. It is unknown just where we will go. It is known who will be there by my side. This person I love and cherish gives me comfort and understanding. She gives me reason and rationale and balances me out. She makes me smile even when she is in a different room. She gives me strength and a deep sense of belief and belonging. She loves me unconditionally and does not judge or belittle me for the decisions I make. She makes me laugh and love. Yes indeed, a new life has begun. Her life and my life are now “our life” for today and always.


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