Please Pardon My MisEducation

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Vow Incited

The serrated blade squeezed through the bread and slid into my skin. My heart leapt, I jumped up in pain, dropped the knife, and clasped my finger with the opposite hand. A single crimson drop of blood formed at the tip of my left pointer finger.

Suddenly it felt like an ice pick was pressing into my chest. My hands turned numb, my vision blurred, and my stomach brewed with nausea. Beads of sweat formed on my forehead. My arms dropped to my side all but incapacitated. My head bobbed into unconscious. A ringing pierced my ear drums and then curtailed into a deep silence.

I could hear someone saying my name. A familiar voice, it seemed distant.

“Jeremy. Jeremy. Are you ok?”

I knew the voice, but in a daze I could not place it exactly.

Again the voice called out, “Jeremy. Can you hear me? Are you ok!?!”

Finally my senses returned. “That voice is Rhiana’s,” I thought. A slight smile grew slowly on my face from the sound of her voice. “Yes. Now things are returning to normal.”

A third time Rhiana asked, “Jeremy. Answer me. What is going on?”

Like I had just been woken from a trance I muttered in a hushed monotone, “I cut my finger slicing the bread. It’s not bad, but I’m going to pass out. Get me a chair I don’t want to fall. And can you turn off the oven?”

Rhiana agreed, “I will get you a chair but first you have to sit down on the floor.”

My incoherence placed me into a fogged state of confusion. “No. I can stand up if you just get me a chair and turn off the oven.”

Rhiana turned to get a chair. I stood and glared at the lime green digital numbers on our pearl white stove top range. The numbers read, “350.” My mind raced with the thought of the over heated oven. “I just have to turn it off. It’s only a few steps away. I will feel better once it is turned off.” One step towards the stove top and the digital numbers danced like fireflies on a hot summer night. One half step and the numbers swung into a streak of lime green lightning.

Darkness ensued.

I felt the cool kitchen floor tiles on my face. The hum that resonated from the refrigerator motor was slightly louder than normal. I rolled to my back, placed my hand on the window sill, and pulled myself against the wall. My sweaty hands slid on the tile as I propped myself into an upright position. I was then sitting and facing the very stove that caused me to fall. The white cabinets and appliance appeared jumbled together in a white clouded blob before me.

I heard that familiar voice again. “Jeremy. Jeremy! What happened? Are you ok? Why couldn’t you just leave that stupid oven be?”

Crouched on the floor I held my head up. Immediately it sank back down and the nausea in my stomach nearly elevated to a heave. Again I tried to hold up my head and again it fell back in between my shoulders.

Frantically Rhiana demanded answers “Are you ok? Can you hear me? What happened?”

I mumbled once more about the stove and then as the nausea nearly overcame me I said, “Call 9-1-1.”

Rhiana left the room and returned with the phone. She dialed a few chirps and dashed thru the operators query, “Hello. Yes. Medical please. My fiancé cut his finger, he passed out, and I think he hit his head on the way down. Okay. Thank you.”

She also returned to the room with a cold water soaked hand towel. She pressed it to my face, “Can you hold this on your head?” “Let me see your finger. You are bleeding everywhere.” She lifted my limp arm from the floor and folded my unscathed fingers down and out of the way. “You need to hold this hand up. Hold this paper towel on it and keep up the pressure while I get the bandages. Why didn’t you listen to me and just sit down?”

Coming back to my senses I persisted, “Did you turn off the oven?” She was still out of the room.

Returning again and this time agitated by the repeated question she snapped back, “Yes. The oven is off. Keep your hand up!”

It was then that I could here the rumble of diesel engines rolling onto our quiet street. The engines grew loud and bombastic and then they idled off into silence. Rhiana opened the door and I could hear a scanner radio screeching out updates over the emergency radio band. The voices of several men talking in the drive grew closer accompanied by the thump of large protective boots. I could see the silhouette of a firemen’s hat standing just outside the door. Rhiana stepped out to greet them.

As the crew began to fill the kitchen Rhiana leaned down and looked into my dazed eyes. “You know that whole ‘in sickness and in health thing’? We haven’t agreed to that yet, so try to not do something like this again for another couple of weeks. Okay?”

Okay.

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